Open letter to the Best Friend I lost

Dear old friend,

I admit writing this has not been the easy to say the least. It’s not as if it hurts me to think about it. I mean don’t get me wrong, I miss you a lot. I’ll always miss having you by my side. I mean, you were my second-best friend. In addition, you were my friend that I explored with, went on trips with, spent time with after school, won state titles, competed with, and loved nature with. Also, you were the one friend I could talk to about anything and you not say a word. You accepted my love for crazy socks and animals. However, I have moved on, made new friends and let go of the old ones that I’ve grown apart from.

The hardest part about this is that I really don’t know what to write. Most friendships that I have had that ended, ended because of a huge fight or even a stupid boy. Our friendship just ended. Unexpectedly. Which is why it hurt so bad. Don’t get me wrong, we fought. But we always made back up no matter what. There was no closure. No goodbye. In many cases when a friendship ends, it’s a mutual agreement. People go different directions and change and don’t want to be friends anymore. This was different.

One day we were close and the next not a word.

Sometimes I think what did I do wrong? It stings. Losing you was one of the worst things and I’m not sure you know that. I’m not positive you will read this, but if you choose to you’ll know it’s about you. FFA brought us together and no matter what anyone says know we were known as the iconic “Pro-tractor Twins”. We saved two opossums together, climbed smith mountain, explored state parks, face-timed at the wee hours in the morning, drank coffee, laughed, cried, and jammed in the car. But most importantly, the last time I wore the Corduroy Jacket was with you. I miss it, I do.

Coming to a new school was hard. Before I met you, I just wanted to fit in. For some reason fitting in was so important to me. I tried to be someone I just wasn’t. People I considered friends then really weren’t. I was unique and no one could change that. It took someone like you to come in my life to make me realize this.

Then I met you. You helped me become who I am today. You helped me find that laugh I always wanted. You helped me understand I didn’t need to fit in. I can find my place with people around me that love me. My goofy self doesn’t need to change in anyway. If breaking out "disco dances moves" is needed it's ok. Though you didn’t completely teach me self-love, you sure did help, and I’m blessed for that. Thank you for being my friend.

Xoxo, Des